It's hard to explain suicidal thoughts to other people without them getting selfish about it. Responses are always some variation of "Don't do that! I'd be upset!" or "I'd miss you!" or "Don't say that!" or "You'd be depriving the world!" And if you're a typical "caring" individual, those things probably sound sweet or even altruistic.
But in reality, those comments are all about you, or all about other people, and do nothing to take into account the actual, acute, and very real pain of the suicidal person. If you've said such things to a suicidal person, you are basically ONLY acknowledging your own feelings about the subject, and are insisting the person completely stop caring about the only thing they perceive that they have left to care about, which is how miserable they feel. Saying you'll "miss them" is even more selfish, because you're essentially saying that you want the person to continue living a life of physical and emotional pain, forever, rather than you having to merely endure "missing" them. Imposing that level of selfishness and minimization on them makes the suicidal person feel MORE alone and desperate, not less. By doing what you think is "supportive", you only make things worse.
Deeply suicidal people don't give a rat's ass about your feelings. They don't care what you would be "sad" about, how much you love them, or what you would miss about them. They don't care how popular or pretty you think they are, or how many friends they have, or how talented they are. They also don't care if it's "nice" outside, or if you just made them a cake, or if your cousin's friend's sister just had a baby. To a suicidal mind, being entrenched in that severe level of despair and darkness means every other thing in the world becomes petty. Especially your attempts at small talk. Everything is worthless and unhelpful. Nothing means anything. And if there is ANY meaning at all, it's usually a distorted kind of despondent paranoia that everything is horrible, life hates them and it will only continue to get worse. Your comments about how nice it is outside, or how people miss them, come out as taunts - a suicidal person wouldn't even be able to muster the energy to enjoy those things if they tried.
And certainly don't get mad or tell them "don't say things like that". You're lucky they're even talking at all. Shutting them down will make them retreat further into their heads and become even more likely to do something drastic.
If you want to get through to a depressed and suicidal person, cheerfulness is not the answer. Any attempt at being overly cheerful in their presence paints you as uncaring and airheaded. The person you're trying so hard to convince is likely thinking that you're delusional yourself. Compliments are not the answer either. They mean nothing. And even if they don't disagree, it's likely because it would take too much energy to do so. So no cheery talk. And anger/frustration is entirely counterproductive. What they really need is understanding. Really and truly making an attempt to understand what they're going through. Unless you can make that effort, all you're really doing is flapping your lips at a brick wall.
It's important to understand that a suicidal and deeply depressed person is functioning in an ENTIRELY different reality of meaning and values (or lack thereof) than you do. No matter what you say to try and cheer them up, it will not make any difference, because the things you perceive to be "happy" or "uplifting" news are neutral, unimportant, or useless bits of information to the other person, however important they seem to you. Their ONLY reality is the constant level of emotional pain and misery, and the feeling of being stuck inside their head where all of this inescapably horrible, distorted reality is happening in the first place. Unfortunately, that is the only "real" world for someone in that state, and in that world nobody really cares, and nobody makes enough effort to understand.
So if you really want to help and "get through", and have some chance at getting their attention through the despondent fog, do some research. Read books about depression. Watch videos. Read other people's memoirs or personal accounts of what it's like. Accept that the suicidal reality IS the reality in their head, and speak to them keeping that in mind. Don't push your cheery and positive reality on them, even if it's the "correct" reality, because it will make no sense to them. Instead, try and understand. Ask questions. Ask the person what it's like. If you read a personal account with particular details, describe it to them and ask if it's "like that", and you may get them to talk. Have them try and describe things. But don't ask too many questions at once, and be patient for the answers, because the mental fog accompanying deep depression can make responses VERY delayed, even if they hear you just fine when you're speaking.
Also, be able to sit quietly and just be there. With warning of course, asking first if they would be okay with seeing somebody familiar (and expect flat nos for a while if their social anxiety is too much). Depressed people pull away from friends and groups, sometimes because of added social anxiety, sometimes because of lack of energy or patience, or dread of overstimulation. But that doesn't mean they're not terribly, terribly lonely at the same time. But while you need to make sure they know you're paying attention, don't just "stop by" without warning, because that kind of surprise can be an upsetting trigger to someone who currently needs a stable and quiet space.
However, the longer they draw away without anyone making a true effort to contact them at all (even via email, chat, or letters), the worse they will feel about "people" in general, especially people who claimed to be their friends. The longer they go without feeling like they have a support network to come back to, the less likely they will believe anyone who says that "people care". To a suicidal and depressed person, saying that "people care" is just invoking an image of an imaginary, invisible group. Who are these people? Where are they? The depressed logic: they're not present, they're not in direct contact, so they don't care. And how are they showing they care, other than by your word? Are they making offhand Facebook comments? A stray text message? That isn't helpful. That isn't real friend caring, and it means absolutely nothing to the person in question. It's armchair caring, much like armchair politics. Lazy, effortless, "say it and forget it" caring.
So stay away physically if needed, but please don't be silent if you actually do care. The silence can add that much more hurt and pain to the problem overall. You don't have to be in constant contact, but make the effort to say more than just "how are you" every few days; the answer will likely be the same, and repeating yourself will just make the person will feel less and less like you actually give a crap about the answer. They might even stop responding to you altogether.
Above all, keep in mind that the very idea of wanting to commit suicide has very real roots in feeling like nobody understands. If you want to actively help, try to understand. Maybe even introduce them to other people who do. The person will appreciate that more than any cheery nonsensical small talk. If you show you're trying, and they see you're taking them seriously, you'll have a much better chance at keeping them grounded, at least long enough to get other kinds of help.
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